A ‘yes’ is always bound up in a terms of conditions.
“Yes you may have the toy…if you’re good today. You hear me?”
And so yes became a chore to you. A hesitant action that you’d take, but always question. You with your two steps forward and a little jump back. When you asked for permission, and you’ve always asked for permission, you’d ask it with a slant in your tone. Down, down, down it would go as if you expected a clause. You’d expect the clause if you wanted the yes enough. The thing is, you expected it even when it wasn’t forthcoming. You’d question the yes until you forced a chore to be linked around you – a chain to choke your neck. A yes binds, entangles, enslaves you. I know you live for the day when someone gives you a straight, hard-hitting NO (or YES). You live for it, but fear it too. That’s why you continue on as you’ve always continued on. Nothing more, but sometimes less.